Forget Her (1993) .... Jeff Buckley
"...the best breakup anthem ever..." @danielchance7021 (2020)
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| US single, 2004. |
Contents
- Breakup blues
- Recording & performance
- Rebecca Moore
- Epilogue
- Reference
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1. Breakup blues
One of the most intimate and heartfelt songs by the late American singer / songwriter / guitarist Jeff Buckley (1966-1997) is the heartbreak anthem Forget Her. Likely written around the time of its earliest known performance at the Bearsville Theatre, Woodstock, New York, on 20 September 1993, it speaks of a personal breakup between Buckley and his girlfriend of the previous three years. Both lyrically and musically it is full of personal angst and Buckley's inability to "forget her." The lyrics - written in the heat of the breakup - are brutal and seek to blame and shame the other.
[NB: the following lyrics are taken from the US single release of 2004 and derive from the1993-4 Grace sessions; words in brackets thus [....] are from the alternate take at the Grace sessions; those in brackets thus (....) are from the December 1993 live recording]
* Forget Her
While this town (city) is busy sleeping
All the noise (joy) has died away
I walk the streets to stop my weeping
'Cause she'll never [(she just can't)] change her ways
But don't fool yourself
She was heartache from the moment that you met her
Ah, my heart feels so [is frozen] still as I try to find the will
To forget her somehow
Oh, I think I've forgotten her now (She's somewhere out there now)
Her love is a rose, pale and dying
Dropping her petals in land unknown
All full of wine, the world before her
Was sober with no place to go
Don't [you] fool yourself
She was heartache from the moment that you met her
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will
To forget her somehow
She's somewhere out there now
Well, my tears falling down as I try to forget
Her love was a joke from the day that we met
All of the words, all of her men
All of my pain when I think back to when
Remember her hair as it shone in the sun
The smell of the bed when I knew what she'd done
Tell yourself over and over you won't ever need her again
But don't fool yourself
She was heartache from the moment that you met her
Oh, my heart is frozen still as I try to find the will
To forget her somehow
She's out there somewhere now [Oh, I think I've forgotten her now ........oh, oh, oh.....[end]
Oh, she was heartache from the day that I first met her
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will
To forget you somehow
'Cause I know you're somewhere out there right now
I don't wanna ban her
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Forget Her was undoubtedly a painful song for Buckley, both in its composition and performance. Whilst there are any number of songs in modern pop music which reflect similar feelings on the part of the writer/s, it should not be ignored that there is a toll to be paid in their production, often not just by the writer / performer, but also by the subject, or instigator, of the outpouring. In fact, love found / love lost is one of the foundational themes and inspiration for artistic expression across the board. Why? Because intimate partner relationships are amongst the most intense emotional experiences an individual can encounter, matched only by that between parent and child. Much of Buckley's oeuvre is centred around such emotion, and even present in songs he covered, such as Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.
During various studio sessions and live performance from the latter part of 1993 the lyrics were slightly altered, as evidenced by the four known recordings. In all instances the new lyrics stick to the main theme of person heartache on the part of Buckley. Three of the recordings took place in the nearby Woodstock studio utilised during the Grace album sessions, between late 1993 and early 1994. Near the end of the sessions, as Buckley was struggling for songs to complete the album, he presented the production company with Forget Her. It is possible that he had initially planned to record it on his forthcoming album but, following the Bearsville Theatre performance, realised its intensely intimate nature was not something he wanted to repeat. A similar situation occurred with Bob Dylan's Ballad in Plain D, released in 1964. It recorded his breakup with longtime girlfriend Suze Rotolo and a violent confrontation in March of that year with her sister Carla over his treatment of her, especially the womanizing and open relationship with Joan Baez. Dylan later publically regretting ever releasing the song, stating: "Oh yeah, that one! I look back and say 'I must have been a real schmuck to write that.' I look back at that particular one and say, of all the songs I've written, maybe I could have left that alone." Perhaps Buckley felt the same about Forget Her. Following the breakup and recording sessions, he maintained a close friendship with the song's antagonist, not wanting to publically embarrass her. He was loathe to present Forget Her publically, and the only known recorded live performance is the bootleg of his appearance at the CBGB's club, New York, on 18 December 1993. This was around the time of the song's studio recording. It has been stated subsequently that (1) he never performed Forget Her live (wrong); or (2) he only performed it the once, at CBGB's (wrong). The early Bearsville Theatre performance is never mentioned, though is referenced on Setlist.fm.
Forget Her was quickly put down in two basic forms: one an energetic, fiery version with strong production values; another slower, melancholic, bluesy rendition, though less polished production wise. Columbia felt the song had commercial potential, however Buckley and the band were reticent (Runtagh 2019). As a result, it was not included in the album upon its release on 15 August 1994, where it was replaced by So Real.
The original, studio version eventually appeared following Buckley's death in 1997, as a single (CD, duration: 4.32 minutes; vinyl, duration: 5.11 minutes) issued in connection with the 2004 Grace Legacy Edition. The short CD version can be heard in the following 2009 official music video:
Forget Her - official music video - 2009, Jeff Buckley Music, duration: 5.01 minutes.
The intensity of the song's lyrics (reproduced below) are evident upon a reading, reflecting the theme of trying to forget a lost love, and being somewhat embittered by the whole experience and the too-and-frooing involved in "trying to forget her." This also reveals, in part, Buckley's reticence in subsequently singing Forget Her live, not seeking to embarrass the person addressed therein. The words of the song are reproduced below, along with variants.
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2. Recording & performance
Performers on the Grace recordings include:
- Jeff Buckley, guitars, vocals and songwriter
- Matt Johnson, drums, percussion and co-songwriter (Dream Brother)
- Gary Lucas, guitars and co-songwriter (Grace and Mojo Pin)
- Mick Grondahl, bass and co-songwriter (Dream Brother)
- Michael Tighe, guitarist and co-songwriter (So Real)
- Loris Holland, organ
- Misha Masud, table
- Karl Berger, string arrangement
Four versions of Forget Her are known to the present writer - three studio edits from the Grace studio sessions (1993-4) and a live bootleg from December 1993.
(1) Forget Her - original studio edit (short), 4.39 minutes. Prepared for release on the Grace album in 1994 but not included and replaced by So Real. Subsequently released officially in a number of forms, including as a single and on various international CDs. This was included in the Grace - Legacy Edition release of 2004 in which all of the volume was maximized and, according to some, much of the dynamics of the original release recordings were lost. This is a fiery, high energy version of the song, with soaring guitar.
(2) Forget Her - original studio edit (long), duration: 5.11 minutes. From the Grace sessions. A vocally restrained, fiery version, with superb production values, including the use of keyboards alongside the dominant, aggressive guitars of Buckley and solid drums. Possibly a different take to the short version.
(3) Alternate studio take #1., duration: 5.50 minutes. From the Grace sessions. A stripped back studio production, with very melancholic, painful, soulful vocals by Buckley and less fiery (instrumentally) than the previous two versions. Includes the fade out lyric at the end, repeated a number of times: ...'Cause I think I've forgotten her now.... oh .... oh ... oh .... This is a tragic rendition and the version most preferred by the present writer.
(4) Live version #1. Forget Her - Live at CBGB's, duration: 7.33 minutes. A bootleg recording, live at New York's CBGB's 313 Gallery on 18 December 1993. Full of the tragic, emotional essence of Buckley's song, dealing as it does with the break up of the relationship. The guitar has a lot of reverb which gives it a Peter Green, bluesy, distance feel, very reminiscent of the 1970 New Orleans recording of B.B. King's Give Up Livin'. A number of technical dropouts occur during the performance, but it is nevertheless a significant recording, with both intensity and the melancholy of the previous studio-based recordings. Copies of this recording are also available here: Forget Her - Live, The Nancy Rotten, duration: 8.48 minutes; Live from CBGB's, New York version, duration: 8.55 minutes.
So who was the woman Buckley singing about in Forget Her?
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3. Rebecca Moore
Forget Her was composed by Jeff Buckley in response to the breakup of his intimate relationship between 1991-3 with the artist and performer Rebecca Moore (b.1964). Apparently Lover, You Should've Come On Over from the Grace album also has a similar origin, whilst a number of other songs in the album reflect breakup angst to a degree.
The couple had met at a Tim Buckley memorial concert in New York during April 1991. They fell instantly in love (Browne 2001). Moore came from a bohemian background and was two years older than Buckley. Though they split in 1993 due to various reasons on the part of both parties (e.g. Buckley's touring schedule; Moore's philandering with other men), they remained in close contact as friends and collaborators, and in fact spoke for an hour with each other on the day before Buckley's death by accidental drowning on 29 May 1997. His final message to her was, somewhat eerily and prophetically:
“Think of me and smile. I'm gonna work my ass off, baby. I'll see you on the other side.”
Following the breakup with Rebecca, Jeff was in a relationship with Joan Wasser for the three years prior to his death. Concise accounts of the Moore - Buckley relationship can be found in Jeff's biographies, such as Dream Brother, and separate articles. Moore commented on the relationship in a 2009 interview.
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4. Epilogue
A number of artists have subsequently covered Forget Her. The following are some notable versions.
* Jasper Steverlinck, Forget Her, 2009, duration: 6.22 minutes.
* Annie Wilson, Forget Her, Live at Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom, 18 August 2021, duration: 5.37 minutes. Another version from 2022 is available here.
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5. References
Browne, David, Dream Brother: the lives and music of Jeff and Tim Buckley, 4th Estate, London, 2001, 381p.
Buckley, Jeff, Forget Her - official video, Jeff Buckley Music, duration: 4.39 minutes.
------, Hallelujah - official video, Jeff Buckley Music, duration: 6.33 minutes.
Jeff Buckley Setlist - Bearsville Theatre, 20 September 1993, Setlist.fm, accessed 20 June 2025.
Runtagh, Jordan, Jeff Buckley's Grace: 10 things you didn't know, Rolling Stone, 23 August 2019.
Wikipedia, Forget Her, Wikipedia, accessed 19 June 2025.
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Lat updated: 24 June 2025
Michael Organ, Australia
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